He was an old man dog... but I guess you never are really able to prepare yourself for the end. You're in a complete stage of denial about how close you might be to saying goodbye. We saved him from the shelter back in 2001, he was 6 months old... we had a tough road ahead of us as we soon discovered that he must have been abused by a man... as he was soooo scared of all men. He was defiantly a mama's boy. He went everywhere with us... out to the mud bogs, up in the mountains, road tripin to Montana... you name it he shared in the adventure. It wasn't until he was about 4 or 5 when he really started to become Jeromy's "buddy"... We were soooooo blessed.... he was a special soul... always a good listener, mellow, yet full of energy, a cuddler, a loyal companion, totally tolerant to babies crawling all over him. He was just simply the most amazing friend we've ever had.
His last day with us was spent up in the mountains... we thought we'd go find some snow to play in... however it was 63 degrees up in the mountains and we didn't find any snow. We parked at the Little Quilcene Trail Head and decided to go for a short hike... the hike to the summit was only .09 of a mile... We were almost to the end of the hike when Buddy seemed to have some kind of seizure... his body went stiff and he rolled a short distance off the trail down an embankment... Jeromy ran down to him and after talking to him and rubbin his head he was able to get up and walk back up to the trail. Jeromy thought he may have had a stroke or his heart went into defib and might have stopped. We knew he was unable to go any further so we headed back to the car... We had to keep telling him to slow down, as he was acting like nothing had happened. I was so worried he was going to go over the edge again, and almost as if he could sense my worry, he started walking right at my side. We got back to the car and Jeromy lifted him into the back of the car and we headed out of the mountains. About 3 quarters of the way down, it was apparent that the same thing was happening again. We pulled over and found him experiencing some kind of heart failure. Jeromy gave him chest compressions and I gave rescue breaths... he kept giving us hope as he was trying to fight what was happening... I'm so grateful he was with Jeromy and I at the end.... I'd say we were "His" instead of him being "Ours" He will forever be in our hearts.....
You are never ever ready no matter what you think.... to experience this. I knew I would have to deal with this at some point... but never thought this soon, never thought in this way, and had no idea the pain would be soooooo much...
I'm grateful that the boys didn't have to witness the end... as explaining that Buddy went to Heaven was so hard for Jeromy and I. Then to have Colten say with a whimper in his little voice.."No! He's coming home later" Just made our hearts break even more.
It's the next day now and I'm still hoping it was all just a bad dream... that there will be a happy wagging tail waiting to be let outside. We left the house for the better part of the day because it hurt too much to be home... but coming home to an empty house may have been the worst... There is such a huge void now... one of our family members is missing... the tears just keep falling and I can't control them... I think about Buddy constantly and how I wish I had just one more day.... But I'll take all this pain to be able to hold the memories of him forever.
In loving memory of the best dog anybody could ask for....
We love you to the moon and back Buddy... may you STILL watch over our little family we will never ever forget you!
Buddy just minutes after his heart stopped the first time and he rolled off the trail... he's looks to be just fine... walked all the way back to the car without any problems... as if he knew it would have been challenging to carry him and the kids back...
Back at the car... only about 15minutes before we said our final goodbyes... he looks like such a happy boy here... doing what he loved... going for a car ride and a hike with HIS family....
Blessed you shared your life with us.....
Im so sorry you guys had to go through that, I too am happy that neither of the boys were there for that! He was a great dog, I am happy that I got to be apart of his life he sure knew how to make you smile! It is a really hard thing to go through, I have been through it six times it will get easier though the crying at times doesnt really stop when I see a dog that reminds me of Bear, Cap or Hunter I start to cry but I wouldnt take back any of the time that I had with them dogs are such amazing animals and can bring you such happiness when you need it the most!!! If you ever need to talk I am here for you!! I love you all and hope things get easier soon!!
ReplyDeleteOh Kristi! :( I'm so sorry.
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